Finally a good day and an idea for how to run elections

So I went to the pizza factory and we were busy and I got to deliver a lot of piping hot pizza to a lot of hungry people who, for once, were glad to see me.

So of course I now get to focus on what I enjoy most, Bush bashing!!!!
Lets see this week- John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge can't decide who is in charge of handing out terror alerts. Isn't this strangely like the time when George Schultz announced he was in charge after Reagan was shot?

My only question and I hope it was one of yours, is: Who's driving this bus? I think that these activities and the rest of the freak show that is the Bush presidency can only be summed up as an effective argument that the job of the president is in fact that of a puppet. That's correct. The president is a puppet and there are several people pulling the strings.

What must little Georgie say to himself when he goes to bed at night? I wonder if he sleeps in little cowboy jammies.

I think that we should save all the money that we spend on elections and we should pick a president like we pick the American Idol. Vote early vote often. We should have everyone who wants to be president go through an audition. On television. We'll have audition sites all over the country in main cities.

We'll have some preliminary rounds that screen candidates for basic things, like their grasp of the English language. Test them on important information, like knowing the name of the last president and the names of the countries that border us to the north and south. We'll also screen to make sure that the candidates fulfill the legal requirements. Things like are they the correct age, a natural born citizen, and are they able to form coherent sentences?

We'll have judges select their top 50. Our judges will be 3 randomly selected people from a nationwide lottery. Anyone who wants to be a judge can sign up for the lottery.

The we'll take the last 50 to Washington, where we will have a series of runoffs.

Televised each week- (in groups of ten) Each candidate will have an opportunity to answer the same basic list of questions, how they would handle the war in Iraq, terrorism, health care, social security, etc. This will be followed by a 5 minute free form comment section where they could say why they want to be president.

Then we'll have telephone, text messages and online voting. For 3 hours only. We'll be voting for the one person we like best.

We'll set up TV's and phone banks at the usual polling places for poor people or anyone who does not have a phone or a TV.

And when we get to the one candidate the country likes best- then the winner can select their vice president.

Sounds good to me. And cheap and effective. We'll save a lot of money and energy wasted now on negative campaigns. And we'll get a president that we all want, not just some rich guy who can afford to run.

When I started writing this I was kidding, but now it seems like a damn good idea!